#ev3 Quote Archive

<anti> so now with no impending ****ing galactic doom, i have time to sexually harass everyone

<xtal> **** you room
<xtal> **** you moon
<xtal> **** you cow jumping over the moon
<xtal> **** you light
<xtal> and the red balloon
<xtal> **** you bears
<xtal> **** you chairs
<xtal> **** you kittens
<xtal> and **** you mittens
<xtal> **** you clocks
<xtal> and **** you socks
<xtal> **** you little house
<xtal> and **** you mouse
<xtal> **** you comb
<xtal> and **** you brush
<LawnGnome> xtal this is not a good bedtime story

<Jesus> you like penis growth drugs, right?
<Oscar> i need penis shrinking drugs :(
<Oscar> the girls have trouble with me
<anti> don't stick it in the belly button

<anti> haha
<anti> lindsay lohan is going to jail
<CaptEditor> what for
<anti> probation violation
<CaptEditor> being terrible on camera?
<CaptEditor> heh
<CaptEditor> probation for what?
<anti> dui
<anti> don't **** with the dmv
<CaptEditor> hahaha
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champ: heh
champ: puma make some bloody ugly shoes
champ: also, it's kind of hard to buy shoes online
Steeley: I bought my Nike's on ebay.
Oscar: you just killed ten african children
Steeley: Well those African children died to make me look awesome.
Steeley: So it was worth it.
• Oscar laughs out loud

<TwoJacks> Sup Kath
<Kathryn> not much just got out of the shower thinking of playing with capt
<TwoJacks> hawt
<Kathryn> yeah you know it
<champ> he finds a lack of punctuation a turn on? :P
* Ragashingo has joined #ev3
<TwoJacks> Some people just look better fresh out of the shower
<champ> I know Raga does
<champ> damn, bad timing
<Ragashingo> Indeed.
<Kathryn> ya its" ded sxy
<champ> or maybe... awesome timing
<Ragashingo> :)
<TwoJacks> Hahaha awesome
<Kathryn> untill you had unpuncuated sex you wouldnt know

<xtal> mwalk is on twitter, hugo chavez is on twitter, with these kinds of people i don't regret not being on twitter
<Pikeman> you can say that again
<anti> mwalk has a twitter?
<Pikeman> is that at all surprising?
<Pikeman> he's like a dog chasing a car, except it's not a car, it's pop culture

<lobf> probably just whatever disease or flu i got in the days before spread to my kidneys
<lobf> OH
<lobf> OH
<lobf> after they choved a camera up my dick
<anti> hahahahahahahaha
<lobf> i farted out of my cock
<anti> hahaha
<anti> nick queefed
<anti> awesome
<Eji> oh wow
<lobf> beat that
<anti> how big was the camera
<anti> that was awesome
<lobf> dude, I remember it being the size of a can of tennis balls, but I was pretty ****ing nervous

<anti> 69 is amusing for guys
<anti> i'm sure she doesn't like her nose that close to your stinky bonch
<Dazzle> haha
<anti> and yes, i have farted in her face before
<david> hahahahaha
<david> what the ****
<anti> dude, she was moving
<Eji> God i feel so bad for the motherinlaw you get introduced to
<anti> i was trying to hold it in
<anti> i was trying to hold it in
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<Steelix> Oh what the **** is this bull****
<Steelix> Was just changing the password in OSX and the password assistant suggested anal69]perks
<Steelix> I don't think I can use this laptop any more.
<lobster> o.O
<david> hahahaha
<Steelix> There was a drop down menu and they're all ****in weird and porn related
<lobster> your laptop likes your lap ... a lot
<david> probably has something to do with your computer usage
<Steelix> Nah man this was my grandpa's old laptop he gave it to me but I thought he fresh installed
<Steelix> Obviously he didn't
<Steelix> Seriously I can't use this now
<david> hahaha

//on the subject of dating

<david> we should just write out a program that asks you yes or no questions and tells you whether it's gonna work out or not and whether it's too risky to bang
<Alistair> depends how the ex became the ex
<TwoJacks> David, you're a genius
<Eji> how about a program that just asks you questions for 45 mintues and then says no?
<david> hahahaha
<Eji> it'll have about the same effect
<david> same thing right?
<JoeBlob> yep

<anti> the **** is a char
<Alistair> it's an 8-bit int in C
<anti> what?
<Alistair> it's an 8-bit int in C
<anti> english mother ****er
<anti> do you speak it
<Alistair> sorry
<Alistair> it is an 8-bit int in C

  <Pikeman> I have never purchased a single item at Starbucks for myself in my entire life.
<Razzle> way to fight the man
<Pikeman> And I can count on one hand the amount of times I have been inside a Starbucks location.
<champ> I go there pretty much every morning
<champ> because I wank coffee
<champ> ........
<champ> *want
<Pikeman> ...
<Pikeman> ............................
<Razzle> ......
<champ> so, how about that weather

<xtal> the only thing gayer than a pile of naked men having sex with each other
<xtal> is a pile of anthropomorphic male foxes having sex with each other

<lobf> hahaha
<lobf> i forgot my iphone ssh password
<lobf> in desperation i tried clawpenis
<lobf> sure enough
<lobf> i could have sworn it was something else

<Anon> Are you challenging my constitutional right to make nude phonecalls?

<Ned> sing
<`naph> balls
<Ned> sing about balls
<Eji> oh testicles oh testicles.  I notice how ned lacks you
<`naph> when i kick him in the happy sack, oh how empty they be!
<Eji> the empty space, between his legs, devoid of sack, filled with "eggs"
<Ned> is it weird that this song is giving me a boner?
<Eji> #ev3, just a little gay

Erik: Pikeman: When I ****ed your mom in the ass, I had no idea that my sperm was so potent it could actually fertilize a turd, which eventually grew into you. (BURN!)
Pikeman: yep
Pikeman: ...that was poorly timed.

<Oscar> so
<Oscar> if schoolteachers are immune to the sound of nails on blackboard
<Oscar> what do the teachers of teachers do to make the students shut up
<anti> shoot them

<naph> heh
<naph> dumbass cockroach
<naph> walk into my house will you
<naph> MORE SMART
<naph> MORE SAFE
<naph> MORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTEEEEEEEEEEEEEIN!
<naph> muhahahaha
<naph> its death throes are music to my ears
<Eji> so naph is taunting the cockroach in a manner related to a saturday morning cartoon meglomanic villian?
<naph> i do most things in that manner
<Eji> your orgasms must be extremely awkward
<naph> and unbelievably frightening for the ladies involved
<Eji> YOU WILL TREMBLE WHEN WITNESSING MY POWER!
<Eji> i'm probably going to hell for that
<naph> add a growl like a elephant seal and that'd be about right

<Anon`> My uncle once punched a man so hard his legs turned into trombones
<Oscar> ...
<Pikeman> ...

* champ (~champ@S0106001b116be269.ca.shawcable.net) has joined #ev3
<champ> GREETINGS ARSE PIRATES!
<xtal> hi dick bandit
<Pikeman> hello chode vandals
<anti> bonch bitches?
<xtal> GRUNDLE DEFIBRILATOR
<Pikeman> taint ticklers
<champ> "bubba"

<KanerixWolfe> eh crap
<KanerixWolfe> Is nickserv crashed?
<Alistair> probably
<Hamster> Nickserv
<Hamster> More like
<Hamster> DUMBSERV
<Alistair> your wit is rapierlike
<Hamster> Curved and sharp and Arabic.
<Hamster> Wait.
<Hamster> That's a scimitar.
<Hamster> I am super dumb. :(

* champ has a whole lot of random gmail accounts to use
champ: iamnotatoaster@gmail.com is one
champ: I used it to apply for a job at mcdonalds once
champ: all of my answers related to toast
champ: I didn't get a job :(

<champ> heh, I was reading about telescopes earlier, and they talked about how a big heavy telescope makes it harder to use so you're less likely to use it
<champ> and the writer mentioned how a 2.7" used telescope is better than an 18" telescope that goes unused
<champ> and I thought "heh. Penis."

<xtal> jesus christ pooped
<xtal> so does barack obama
<xtal> and so do i
<xtal> XTAL FOR MINOR DEITY 2010

<lobf> so one time
<lobf> i tripped on mushrooms in amsterdam
<lobf> i bought them at some store in a big container. i ate most of them, but since i had had issues with them making me sick in the past, i didn't eat my hwole batch
<lobf> first 5 hours of the trip were great, and then it started to fade
<lobf> so i went to take the rest of them. since shrooms taste like crap, i decided to put them into a tabasco, pretzel, and whole wheat sandwich
<lobf> we walked out of the hostel, and my limbs started to feel swollen
<lobf> i figured i was just tripping, but then i realised my ring was stuck on my finger
<lobf> as we walk down the street, i'm looking at my buddy, and then everything goes black
<Ned> that's when lobf got ****ed in the ass
<Ned> the end
* Pikeman applauds.

<Oscar> but why
<Oscar> why would he destroy a star
<Oscar> why doesn't he just fly into it with a PENIS
<Oscar> he can't get to the woman
<Oscar> so he's trying to make the woman come to him
<Dy4> It's suicide to fly into a star without a level 20 penis.
<Oscar> the igadzra found that out the hard way.
<Dy4> hahaha

* naph pees on erik's modem
* Erik has quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)