#ev3 Quote Archive

<xtal> the only thing gayer than a pile of naked men having sex with each other
<xtal> is a pile of anthropomorphic male foxes having sex with each other

<lobf> hahaha
<lobf> i forgot my iphone ssh password
<lobf> in desperation i tried clawpenis
<lobf> sure enough
<lobf> i could have sworn it was something else

<Anon> Are you challenging my constitutional right to make nude phonecalls?

<Ned> sing
<`naph> balls
<Ned> sing about balls
<Eji> oh testicles oh testicles.  I notice how ned lacks you
<`naph> when i kick him in the happy sack, oh how empty they be!
<Eji> the empty space, between his legs, devoid of sack, filled with "eggs"
<Ned> is it weird that this song is giving me a boner?
<Eji> #ev3, just a little gay

Erik: Pikeman: When I ****ed your mom in the ass, I had no idea that my sperm was so potent it could actually fertilize a turd, which eventually grew into you. (BURN!)
Pikeman: yep
Pikeman: ...that was poorly timed.

<Oscar> so
<Oscar> if schoolteachers are immune to the sound of nails on blackboard
<Oscar> what do the teachers of teachers do to make the students shut up
<anti> shoot them

<naph> heh
<naph> dumbass cockroach
<naph> walk into my house will you
<naph> MORE SMART
<naph> MORE SAFE
<naph> MORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTEEEEEEEEEEEEEIN!
<naph> muhahahaha
<naph> its death throes are music to my ears
<Eji> so naph is taunting the cockroach in a manner related to a saturday morning cartoon meglomanic villian?
<naph> i do most things in that manner
<Eji> your orgasms must be extremely awkward
<naph> and unbelievably frightening for the ladies involved
<Eji> YOU WILL TREMBLE WHEN WITNESSING MY POWER!
<Eji> i'm probably going to hell for that
<naph> add a growl like a elephant seal and that'd be about right

<Anon`> My uncle once punched a man so hard his legs turned into trombones
<Oscar> ...
<Pikeman> ...

* champ (~champ@S0106001b116be269.ca.shawcable.net) has joined #ev3
<champ> GREETINGS ARSE PIRATES!
<xtal> hi dick bandit
<Pikeman> hello chode vandals
<anti> bonch bitches?
<xtal> GRUNDLE DEFIBRILATOR
<Pikeman> taint ticklers
<champ> "bubba"

<KanerixWolfe> eh crap
<KanerixWolfe> Is nickserv crashed?
<Alistair> probably
<Hamster> Nickserv
<Hamster> More like
<Hamster> DUMBSERV
<Alistair> your wit is rapierlike
<Hamster> Curved and sharp and Arabic.
<Hamster> Wait.
<Hamster> That's a scimitar.
<Hamster> I am super dumb. :(

* champ has a whole lot of random gmail accounts to use
champ: iamnotatoaster@gmail.com is one
champ: I used it to apply for a job at mcdonalds once
champ: all of my answers related to toast
champ: I didn't get a job :(

<champ> heh, I was reading about telescopes earlier, and they talked about how a big heavy telescope makes it harder to use so you're less likely to use it
<champ> and the writer mentioned how a 2.7" used telescope is better than an 18" telescope that goes unused
<champ> and I thought "heh. Penis."

<xtal> jesus christ pooped
<xtal> so does barack obama
<xtal> and so do i
<xtal> XTAL FOR MINOR DEITY 2010

<lobf> so one time
<lobf> i tripped on mushrooms in amsterdam
<lobf> i bought them at some store in a big container. i ate most of them, but since i had had issues with them making me sick in the past, i didn't eat my hwole batch
<lobf> first 5 hours of the trip were great, and then it started to fade
<lobf> so i went to take the rest of them. since shrooms taste like crap, i decided to put them into a tabasco, pretzel, and whole wheat sandwich
<lobf> we walked out of the hostel, and my limbs started to feel swollen
<lobf> i figured i was just tripping, but then i realised my ring was stuck on my finger
<lobf> as we walk down the street, i'm looking at my buddy, and then everything goes black
<Ned> that's when lobf got ****ed in the ass
<Ned> the end
* Pikeman applauds.

<Oscar> but why
<Oscar> why would he destroy a star
<Oscar> why doesn't he just fly into it with a PENIS
<Oscar> he can't get to the woman
<Oscar> so he's trying to make the woman come to him
<Dy4> It's suicide to fly into a star without a level 20 penis.
<Oscar> the igadzra found that out the hard way.
<Dy4> hahaha

* naph pees on erik's modem
* Erik has quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)

<xtal> i like going to nudist venues and figuring out what demographics tend to be circumsized
<Oscar> no you don't
<xtal> well, no.

<lily> hay #ev3
<lily> what's a good way to separate frozen hamburger patties
<Pikeman> Scimitar.
<lily> i guess if you have really good aim
* lily has quit (Killed (nirvana.ambrosiasw.com (Nickname Enforcement)))
<Pikeman> ...

* matt opens his mouth and shoots it at Pike
<matt> !!!!!!
<matt> NO

* NedScott (~Scott@c-68-63-178-72.hsd1.az.comcast.net) has joined #ev3
<Ned> I'm so wasted...
<Ned> on love!
<Ned> or was that, I'm so high.. on life
<Ned> or maybe...
* Ned holds up a picture of a flux capacitor
<Ned> I slipped on some doo doo in the bathroom and hit my head
<Ned> when I came to I drew this
* Ned has quit (Quit: Quit)
<Pikeman> The Amazing Ned, everyone.
* Hamster applauds

<Gunsh> we should get durnk
<Gunsh> i like getting drunl

<rudy> i am going to win an apple design award next year for my self help assisted suicide app
<Huw> You could continue your career with an abortion app.
<Pikeman> iHang, then iHanger

<Felicia> i wish i could set process priority for handbrake
<Felicia> it's making itunes/audio hijack skip horribly
<Guapo> um, what?
<Felicia> well guapo
<Felicia> i have a program that is using all spare CPU power
<Felicia> and it's making itunes skip
<Felicia> if i could set the program to have lower CPU priority, that wouldn't happen
<Guapo> i think they had a star trek episode like this
<Felicia> haha
<Guapo> well, substitute warp drive for itunes and we're pretty much there
...

[ Show full quote ]

<xtal> hmm
<xtal> gazza's looking pretty
<xtal> like, if she had a real vagina, i'd do her.
<xtal> probably not, but at least it illustrates the point
<Sproonman> O_o
<xtal> one of the better looking transgendered men-turned-women i've seen is what i'm trying to get at.
<Sproonman> You're weird, xtal
<xtal> lol butts

<Oscar> here's the problem sierro
<Oscar> you made us all sexually aware and then we all went and found real women
<Oscar> er
<Oscar> *holly
<Oscar> hrm
<HollyWoozle> haha
<Sierro> um...

<xtal> so, this girl, we have like every damn thing in common and she still won't sleep with me

* Jesus (~wambulanc@S0106001b116be269.ca.shawcable.net) has joined #ev3
* Jesus blesses #ev3
* Sproonman nails Jesus back where he belongs.
<Pikeman> ...is that a euphemism for crucifixion or anal sex?
<Jesus> or both?
<Ithin> only in #ev3 could it be both
<Pikeman> And that's why we're all here.
<Ithin> exactly

<`naph> if you were to find out you were going to live forever
<`naph> what'd be the first thing you'd do?
<lobster> sigh
<Anon_> same as I'd ever do
<`naph> i'd run off and learn every language i could
<Anon_> I would make no special plans
<`naph> figure that should take about 200 years
<`naph> because then in a few thousand years when they're trying to decode some tablets and ****
<`naph> i could go "oh, thats american, its a crazy misuse of the english language that existed for about 300 years, then they all got fat and died"
<lobster> hahaha
<Ithin> hahaha

<Eji> I have a girlfriend.  Its a good relationship.  I'm very happy about it.  Nonetheless we still fight.  It's nice to see things like this and think, damn i'm lucky
<Eji> #
<Eji> # She really over-reacts whenever she catches me wearing her underwear.
<Eji> ....
<Dy4> ...