#ev3 Quote Archive

1876 quotes, 1 submission


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Highest Rated Quotes

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<Paul> I need no lube
<Paul> I am self lubing
<HollyWoozle> haha
<Lenore> hehehee
<GutlessWNDR> blood is good for lubricant, until it dries
<HollyWoozle> ....
<Floozy> ...
<Lenore> ..
<Ithin> .
<HollyWoozle> you should stop speaking
...

[ Show full quote ]
<Floozy> I hate vacuuming
<Floozy> it sucks
<Floozy> ....
* Floozy beats herself in the face
<Floozy> worst
<Floozy> pun
<Floozy> ever
<Pikeman> Yeah, that was pretty punthetic.
<Floozy> omg Tim, that was worse
<Pikeman> I know, it's just not punny.
* Floozy stabs Tim to death
<Pikeman> You've pun-ctured me!
<Floozy> DIE
<Pikeman> I'll sue for pun-itive damages!
* Floozy runs away screaming
<DestroyerE> i need some ideas for what I'm gonna ask santa for
<Mazca> a whole cow, frozen and divided into five exactly equal parts
<DestroyerE> ok...
<DestroyerE> i'll do that
<Mazca> send it back if the parts aren't exactly equal
<DestroyerE> ok
* Cippy plays with mWalk some more.
<mWalk> Don't worry cippy
<mWalk> I'm disease free
<Eji> hah
<Cippy> not any more
<mWalk> ...
<Eji> hahahhaha
*** hector was kicked off #ev3 by forge (Ok, you're annoying everybody now)
*** hector1 was kicked off #ev3 by forge (Ok, you're annoying everybody now)
*** hector2 was kicked off #ev3 by forge (Ok, you're annoying everybody now)
*** hector (hector@xanadu.AmbrosiaSW.com) joined #ev3
*** hector1 (hector@xanadu.AmbrosiaSW.com) joined #ev3
*** forge was kicked off #ev3 by zambezi (mass kick, go sit in a corner)
*** hector2 (hector@xanadu.AmbrosiaSW.com) joined #ev3
*** forge (forge@pool-138-88-37-18.res.east.verizon.net) joined #ev3
DesertFox: hes trying to confuse us
DesertFox: lol!!
...

[ Show full quote ]
<WhiteFire> I downloaded Linux just now.
<WhiteFire> But it was 560MB of lesbians.
<WhiteFire> And I'm like "crap, I wanted linux"
<WhiteFire> I am such a nerd.
      nemo: LawnGnome, seen mburch?
LawnGnome: Yes
LawnGnome: WAIT NO
      nemo: worst. bot. ever.
asriel: What, no hector?
insomniac: I heard hector was broken, asriel
asriel: Now you sound like hector.
insomniac: excuse me?
asriel: That sentence was formatted a lot like an infobot response.
insomniac: I'm not following you...
asriel: Never mind.
insomniac: ok then.
<Eegras> Ah... So matt doesnt have me on ignore
<mWalk> yes I do
<Pikeman> ...
<mWalk> er
<Pikeman> THAT'S a quote.
WhiteFire: Oryhara, do you have a penis?
Oryhara: I've had it for 11 months now and I'm still NOT BORED with it!
WhiteFire: ...
HollyWoozl: haha
HollyWoozl: TIMING
Steelix: Hehe. AWESOME timing.
HollyWoozl: I love it
HollyWoozl: with a passion
WhiteFire: That should be a quote.
WhiteFire: Someone quote that.
Steelix: I'm already quoting.
<champ> my parents had a taser... I never really had a chance
* Arclite finally got to rub up on a girl without getting slapped today... :P
<Dy4> Arclite: how long was her penis?
<Kirk> Hahaha
<Eric> Dy4++
<Pikeman> OH SNAP.
<-- Arclite has left #ev3 (I hate you all.)
<Eric> hahaha
<Pikeman> pwned.
<Eji> I'm allergic to lobster
* lobster touches Eji
<Eji> i wasn't
<Eji> but then i turned 13
<Eji> funny thing is it's a contact allergy
<Eji> so i'll know where you touched me in a bout 5 seconds when it starts to swell
<lobster> ...
* HollyWoozle touches lobster
<Eji> Did i actually just ****ing say that?
<Ross> buh...
<lobster> hahaha
<Pikeman> ....
--- Eji is now known as Captain_Phail
<HollyWoozle> haha
Eegras: Pimpmobile!!!
   Eegras: dood
prophile: sucks to be purple.
    Eji: dafodile
antihero: heh, it thinks this is a peter frampton song...
*** prophile is now known as fagodile
fagodile: um
fagodile: what the ****
*** Eegras is now known as Pimpmobile
fagodile: I swear I typed "dafodile"
    Eji: hahahahahahahha
<Anax> It's not my fault my evil twin won't let guys see my kitty.
<Anax> *you guys
<Anax> Wow, that was awkward.
<Anax> More so for me because I almost didn't catch that as 'klitty' before I hit enter.
<Mackilroy> hehe
<Anax> Shut up. It was an honest mistake.
* Mackilroy keeps laughing at Anax
<Anax> And if anyone quotes that I will kill them.
<Fluffy> No one uses the quote archive anymore
<Anax> Shut up.
<Anax> Oh, sweet.
<Anax> Thank freaking god.
mindule: hector, weapon
* hector shoves a giant dildo up mindule's ass before giving him oral sex with her beak.
mindule: ... that's not the only one
mindule: hector, weapon
* hector shoves a giant dildo up mindule's ass before giving him oral sex with her beak.
mindule: ...
mindule: : (
Drew: HAHAHAA
Drew: hector, weapon
* hector hands Drew an AK-47.
Drew: ding!
mindule: hector, weapon
* hector shoves a giant dildo up mindule's ass before giving him oral sex with her beak.
Jshei: greg did you know brian got me a tablet for my birthday
Steelix: It was a sleeping pill.
* Steelix runs.
Jshei: bitch
Steelix: :P
insomniac: like, a drawing tablet?
Jshei: yeah, wacom 4x5 inch
Steelix: Cool.
insomniac: cool, you can trace his penis
antihero: hhahahaha
...

[ Show full quote ]
<Fluffy> HOW DOES SEARCHING FOR "HOT MAN" GET ME LESBIAN PORN!?!?
Floozy: I am going to eat summin, and then go to bed :D
Oscar: floozy: sounds like a plan
***: Lek is now known as summin
summin: Yay!
* summin gets ready
Floozy: ...
Jon: ...
ThePixelGuru: heh
Jon: Lek++
Divals: ... indeed.
Jon: Nice try
ThePixelGuru: Lek++
* Floozy puts summin in the microwave on high, for 30 minutes
<Dy4> I like having sex with HUMAN BEINGS
<Dy4> Unlike someone.
* Mackilroy has joined #ev3
<Nadia> [Mackilroy] Ay, there's the rub
<Ithin> hahahaha
<Sierro> hahaha
<poofy> hahaha
* Hamster clears his throat.
<Hamster>   ____  _    _ _______ _______ _____    
<Hamster> |  _ \| |  | |__   __|__   __/ ____|   
<Hamster> | |_) | |  | |  | |     | | | (___     
<Hamster> |  _ <| |  | |  | |     | |  \___ \    
<Hamster> | |_) | |__| |  | |     | |  ____) |   
* mWalk (~mrwj13@24.120.226.7) has joined #ev3
<Hamster> |____/ \____/   |_|     |_| |_____(_)
<Hamster> lolsummon.
<Ross> matt is inside butts...
<mWalk> O/O
<mWalk> Just how I like it
<rooster> i am very selective about the men i'm attracted to, being straight
<mWalk> ...
<mWalk> What?
   Steelix: Dear Microsoft,
   Steelix: Why the hell has my Start menu decided to kill explorer.exe whenever it is opened?
   Steelix: Regards,
   Steelix: Jake
     mrxak: Dear Jake,
     mrxak: Send us more money and we'll give you a patch that won't solve your problem.
     mrxak: Love,
     mrxak: Microsoft
     mrxak: P.S. Send us more money.
   Steelix: Dear Microsoft,
...

[ Show full quote ]
<Sierro> I've only met a nadful of australians
<Sierro> *handful
<Sierro> haha
<champ> that has got to be the best typo ever
<Sierro> I concur
   Pikeman: God, I hate those ****ing 'rich girl' MTV shows.
     mrxak: hahaha
     mrxak: Sweet Sixteen is classic
   Pikeman: I had to turn off Laguna Beach the other night because it made me sick to my stomach.
       Eji: I hate MTV shows
       Eji: but thats just me
       Eji: Hell i hate MTV
     mrxak: yeah, MTV sucks
   Pikeman: Children are dying on the streets of Detroit and New York and LA and these girls are crying because they couldn't get the stretch limo with the spa in it.
   Pikeman: That pisses me off so much that it physically effects me.
       Eji: yeah
LawnGnome: To be fair, they were going to drive that Limo around the country and use the Spa to cleaning up the unwashed masses.
   Pikeman: Heh.
     mrxak: I love you LawnGnome
            Pikeman hugs LawnGnome.
LawnGnome: Imagine the kind of love I'd be getting if I was grammatically correct!
LawnGnome: Keep those pants on, Tim.
<xtal> I give you... teh grene ribbno of dylseaxi!
<Fenris> there is no 'a' in dyslexia
<Fenris> oh
<Fenris> wait
<Fenris> ****
// #ev3 debating, brought to you by Lierodeath and Guapo


Guapo says something outrageously controversial
            Lierodeath is shocked, horrified, and upset
            Lierodeath argues the point
            Guapo makes a condescending response, insulting liero's intelligence
            Lierodeath suggests that Guapo's mother's integrity is not up to scratch
            Guapo explodes with rage, calls liero's sister a naughty name
     Guapo: (you know, this is more fun than the regular debates) ^^
Lierodeath: (indeed it is)
...

[ Show full quote ]
<-- Cleindori has quit (Ping timeout)
<-- sitharus has quit (Ping timeout)
<-- Catfish_Man has quit (Ping timeout)
<-- McJohn has quit (Ping timeout)
<-- Ragashingo has quit (Ping timeout)
<-- Naman has quit (Ping timeout)
<-- zambezi has quit (Ping timeout)
<-- mara has quit (Ping timeout)
<-- computerLizard has quit (Ping timeout)
<-- ferazel has quit (Ping timeout)
...

[ Show full quote ]
    scythe: ****ting in my boxers, dum dum dee dum, pants are for losers, dum dum dee dum
    scythe: er
    scythe: suck
    scythe: sitting*
    scythe: ****
    scythe: sitting*
    JohnCW: Hm.
    mrxak: haha
            scythe cries

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